the plankmeister's interweblet

Tuesday, February 12, 2002

Brisbane : Australia

Past few days have been pretty good. The routine seems to be along the lines of: Get up at 2pm, doss around the hostel for a while, doss around town for a while. By then it's teatime. Eat food. Drink beer. Stay up til at least 5am after staying in the Downunder Bar til closing time. Chat up the ladies. Fail miserably. Go to bed. Couple nights ago I very nearly pulled an exceptionally pretty Dutch girl. She suggested we go up to the roof with an innocent little smile... But as we chatted away, I made the mistake of saying I was 26. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but the fact that Stuart grabbed her earlier and said "How's about a birthday kiss for my mate Plank here, it's his 25th birthday!" meant that she knew something was fishy. Pretty much from then on things started going downhill, until she mentioned she might be getting a job at Showgirls. (the strip club) Then it definitely went downhill when I said I'd been there. **sigh** It was looking so promising at the start of the night too! Last night was Steve's last night in Brisbane as he's off tomorrow travelling north. So we had to go out on a bender! A couple days ago, I had the idea of 'scoring' passing chicks by holding up a score like they do in figure skating. (you know the deal... 5. 1 5. 4 5. 9 etc etc) So we set about producing large numbers to hold up while standing on our first floor balcony above the street next to the busy train station. Lastnight we used them for the first time and on the whole it was very successful. The 3 judges (Me, Steve and Stu) were whistling at every piece of totty that ambled past while holding up scores. Reactions were mixed. One girl - she scored a 5. 9 all round - plumped her boobs, adjusted her hair, giggled, smiled and waved. Huzzah! It's all been worth it! Most chicks completely ignored us, but we didn't have any bad reactions, so I think we'll be doing that again. We scored 2 chicks passing and they actually came over to the hostel and had a chat. However, never before has the phrase "Good from afar but far from good" been more appropriate. Drinking a box of wine between the 3 of us, and a couple cans of beer, we were all feeling quite merry and headed down to the Downunder Bar. Several jugs of snakebite and black later, we were pretty sozzled. **cheer** That's the first time I've actually managed to get drunk since The Big One in Byron. Perhaps my liver and kidneys are functioning properly again now :)The other night there was a girl in the bar who was absolutely stunning and she was smiling at me all night. With the benefit of hindsight, she was pretty much giving all the signals. However... I chickened out of making a move cos I felt too nervous. What a fool. So lastnight I was running round the bar in a drunken state trying to find her, and asking everyone she was with the night before who she was etc etc. However, no-one seemed to know who I was talking about. Most odd. Maybe she was a figment of my imagination?! Hopefully she'll be around again at some point as the mischievous promise hidden in her smile was something I'd definitely like to investigate further ;)After the Downunder Bar closed, we were all going to go to the Casino, but changed our minds and went up to the roof. Well... it didn't happen quite like that... Me and Dan went to the loo, and when we came out, Steve - looking very distressed - came running up the hill and cried "Oh my god, I just saw the most disgusting thing. Stuart just squatted on a bin and shit in it. I saw it come out and everything!" Then, seconds later, Stu emerges from round the corner, walking in a very strange manner, straight past us while explaining: "Just going to wipe my arse." HAHAHAHAHA. It's so disgusting it's funny. Then me, Dan and Steve went up to the roof. "Where's Stuart? He's been ages!" After half an hour he arrives, tinsel round his head, and it turns out that after his trip to the loo, he came out and saw we'd all gone and went to the Casino thinking we'd gone there. Ooops! Oh well. There was a lush girl up on the roof who was trying to learn how to use the pauil things (the chains the the flaming bits at the end) and I taught her how to do the Crossover which is a really difficult move to learn. She was over the moon, as was I. It was about 4am when we retired for the night. Said bye to Steve (though he's a Plymothian so I expect I'll see him again at some point back in the UK) and went to bed. End of another good day!